Patterns / Trends
Gaslighting
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Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation in which someone makes another person doubt their perceptions, memory, or reality, often in order to gain control. The term comes from the 1938 play Gas Light, where a husband dims the gas lights and denies it, making his wife question her sanity. Gaslighters use tactics like lying, denial, and minimizing to create confusion, making the victim doubt themselves and feel increasingly dependent on the abuser. Over time, this leads to feelings of isolation, self-doubt, and even questioning one's mental health.
Ghosting
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Ghosting is a dating behavior where someone abruptly cuts off all communication without warning, explanation, or closure. Typically, one person stops responding to messages, calls, or any form of contact, leaving the other person in confusion about what went wrong. Ghosting is often hurtful because it provides no resolution, forcing the other person to deal with the sudden end alone. It can happen in romantic relationships, friendships, or even professional settings. People ghost to avoid uncomfortable conversations, but it’s generally seen as an emotionally inconsiderate way to end a relationship.
Ghostlighting
"Ghostlighting" is a new dating trend that combines ghosting and gaslighting, creating a particularly confusing and hurtful experience. In ghostlighting, a person who initially disappeared (ghosted) unexpectedly reappears and denies having left at all, often making excuses or downplaying the absence. They might suggest that you're overreacting or "misremembering" the gap in communication, leading you to doubt your own perception. This tactic often makes the recipient question what really happened, potentially giving the ghostlighter control over the narrative. This manipulative cycle can leave the other person feeling emotionally unstable, manipulated, and unsure about the relationship's reality.
Deflecting
Narcissistic deflection is a manipulative tactic used by individuals with narcissistic tendencies to shift focus away from their own faults or behaviors and redirect attention onto others. When confronted with criticism or held accountable, a narcissist might deflect by blaming, denying, or minimizing their actions, thereby avoiding responsibility. This tactic often leaves others feeling confused or questioning themselves, which serves to protect the narcissist’s self-image and control the narrative. For example, if accused of hurtful behavior, a narcissist might respond by criticizing the other person’s faults instead, or by claiming the problem is an overreaction. This form of manipulation makes it difficult to resolve issues and can be emotionally draining for those involved.
Projection - Narcissistic projection is when a narcissist attributes their own negative qualities, feelings, or behaviors onto others, as a way of defending their self-image. Instead of acknowledging their flaws, they accuse others of having those same traits, often creating a distorted version of reality. For example, a narcissist who is dishonest might accuse someone else of lying to deflect suspicion from themselves. This tactic can lead the other person to feel guilty, defensive, or even question their own behavior. Narcissistic projection can damage relationships by creating confusion and undermining trust, as it often prevents honest communication and accountability.
Lack of Empathy - A narcissistic lack of empathy is a trait where individuals with narcissistic tendencies struggle to recognize or care about others' feelings and needs. Instead of responding with understanding or compassion, they often dismiss or ignore others' emotions, viewing them as irrelevant to their own interests. This lack of empathy helps them maintain focus on their own desires and avoid vulnerability. It can lead to hurtful interactions where the narcissist fails to validate or support others, even in times of need. This trait often disrupts relationships, making meaningful connection difficult and leaving others feeling unseen and unsupported.
Sense of Self Importance - Arrogant - Entitlement - Exploits Others - Controlling - Fragile Self Esteem
Manipulative - Exaggerating achievements and talents - Needs constant praise and admiration
Reacts negatively to criticism - Lack of responsibility - Lack of Accountability - Isolation
Love Bombing - Devaluation - Triangulation - Flying Monkeys
CHRISTIAN NARCISSISTS - yes, there is a such thing
(all of the above, plus):
Manipulate scripture for control
They exaggerate their spirituality and lack genuine empathy
They crave admiration and adopt authoritarian leadership roles
They display hypocracy, double standards, and victim mentality.
Signs its time to give up?
5 Code Words Narcissists Use - 10 Tactics to Put a Narcissist in Their Place - 10 Things that will make a Narcissist lose their mind
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There are many other narcissistic traits, too many to name. If you are experiencing anything with a love
one that is not listed on this list, let set up a session today we can discuss your experiences.